Animal I have Become
by RavenAtNight
Summary: Remus remembered that fatal day  or was it night? . That night. The Night. The Night he became one of them. A Werewolf. Songfic.


**I was listening to this song : 'Animal I have become', and I was like **_**'huu… this so fits Remus!**_**' So I wrote this little song-fic. Hope you likey! Original song belongs to **_**Three Days Grace.**_** The Harry Potter universe obviously does not belong to me. Enjoy.**

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><p>Remus remembered that fatal day <em>(or was it night?).<em> That night. _The_ Night. The Night he became one of them. _A Werewolf_.

How many times had his mother said: _Fear them_. _Fear the werewolves._

How many times had his father lectured: _Never go out during the full moon. Never._

His whole world crashed down on that night. On the night of the full moon, he ventured out the safety of their little cottage to find his little toy. He didn't know what he paid, just for one little toy.

Little Remus Lupin saw the large hulking shadow. Glittering eyes stared hungrily at him. Razor-sharp teeth gleamed in the moonlight.

Remus gulped. "G-good doggy."

The beast pounced.

**I can't escape this hell  
>So many times I've tried<strong>

The first time it happened, it hurt like _hell_.

Remus knew it would hurt. His father had warned him beforehand, before locking him into the reinforced cellar. _Be brave._ He had told him. His mother held him tearfully, _Mama will love you always. No matter what._

But does she? Does she love this monster, this beast, this _thing_, that was once a human child?  
><strong><br>But I'm still caged inside**

His world was a world of pain, as his bones realigned themselves, as fangs ripped from his poor gums, as coarse hair sprouted all over his body. It burnt, it was agony, as his blood boiled like fire within his veins. And within his mind, something primal awoke, something readying itself for the hunt. But nothing was around for him to chase, to eat, to _kill_, so the beast turned on itself, clawing, biting, snapping.

**Somebody get me through this nightmare  
>I can't control myself<strong>

Sunlight streamed through the cellar window on the bruised and battered body of Remus Lupin. His small body was shaking and shuddering as his father scooped him up gently and carried him up and away. As he was rocked from side to side, tears streamed down his face. _He had to go through this every full moon? How would he cope? How would he survive?_

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?**

Remus didn't have a normal life. He had to stay in all day, with no friends. All he knew were his books, full of dragons, adventure, potions and spells, where he could be somebody else, in somebody's shoes, in somebody's _life_. Now, Dumbledore was giving Remus the chance, to lead a normal life _(as normal as a werewolf can be_). Dumbledore didn't care about his condition. He just gently told the werewolf he could attend the prestigious Hogwarts School of Wizarding and Witchery! Oh, how happy Remus was!  
><strong><br>No one will ever change this animal I have become  
>Help me believe it's not the real me<br>Somebody help me tame this animal  
>(This animal, this animal)<strong>

Hogwarts was where Remus met his best friends: James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. James Potter, proud and arrogant, he was the model Gryffindor. Sirius Black, 'black' sheep of the Black family. Peter Pettigrew, who was sweet, humble and clumsy. And then there was him, Remus Lupin, smart and nerdy, who's only fear was failing tests. But they didn't know his real fear, his big secret. Why? Why couldn't he tell them? Maybe he was too desperate for companionship, didn't want to lose it. Or maybe he feared the beast, the monster inside him, the bloodthirsty _animal_.

**I can't escape myself**  
><strong>(I can't escape myself)<strong>

Every full moon, he was smuggled to the Shrieking Shack. There, the wolf would take control. Biting, scratching, clawing. Again, and again. Every full moon, Remus turned into what he feared most, a _monster_. And he couldn't escape. Never. As long as he lived, he would be like this, trapped in a never ending torturous cycle.  
><strong><br>So many times I've lied  
>(So many times I've lied)<strong>

As good friends, James, Sirius and Peter had to notice, did they? They had to notice that Remus disappeared every full moon. At first, his excuses were good. They believed them. But then, there is only so many lies you can tell before you get caught up in your web of lies. They started getting suspicious. One night, they cornered him. There was no way out. So they knew. They knew Remus was a werewolf. A vicious monster.  
><strong><br>But there's still rage inside  
>Somebody get me through this nightmare<br>I can't control myself**

They started to avoid him, slipping away at odd moments. Remus became depressed. But really, there was no reason to be. He had always known that this would happen eventually, just, he _missed_ them. But did he deserve them? No. Why? Because he was a monster. A predator. A _killer (Even though he didn't want to be)_**.**

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?**  
><strong>No one will ever change this animal I have become<strong>  
><strong>Help me believe it's not the real me<strong>  
><strong>Somebody help me tame this animal I have become<strong>  
><strong>Help me believe it's not the real me<strong>  
><strong>Somebody help me tame this animal<strong>

Remus was so happy when they came to him with the best birthday present ever! They were Animagi. A stag, a dog, a rat. And why did they do this? For him! For this undeserving creature! But they did it, because they cared for him, they looked past the beast, and saw the scared human within. Why did they disappear at odd moments? They were making the potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, to change themselves into animagi. Their presence calmed the wolf, tamed it.

**Somebody help me through this nightmare**  
><strong>I can't control myself<strong>  
><strong>Somebody wake me from this nightmare<strong>  
><strong>I can't escape this hell<strong>

No longer did Remus suffer from self inflicted injuries. Now, only the transformations were painful. The four spent the full moon running around the forest, through the underbrush, leaping over tree stumps, crashing through branches, howling, barking, having fun. The wolf reveled in the companionship it now had. It now had a pack. Life was good.

**(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)**

Sometimes, if you look out the window during the full moon, you can see a strange procession of animals running around the Hogwarts grounds. A large gray wolf, several scars running along it's flank. A majestic white stag, galloping regally, and butting the wolf playfully with it's antlers. A large black dog, with strange resemblance to a Grim _(gave Prof. Trelawney a real shock it did)_, barking amusedly. A small gray rat would scurry behind, bald tail whipping through the grass. Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony, they were the Marauders.

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?**  
><strong>No one will ever change this animal I have become<strong>  
><strong>Help me believe it's not the real me<strong>  
><strong>Somebody help me tame this animal I have become<strong>  
><strong>Help me believe it's not the real me<strong>  
><strong>Somebody help me tame this animal<strong>  
><strong>(This animal I have become)<strong>

Years pass, Prongs and Padfoot have perished. Wormtail is a traitor. There is only one true Marauder left. He is the wolf. He is Moony. And this was his story.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!<strong>

**And if you could? Just hit that review button? It won't take too long.**

**Really.**


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